Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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