I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
