the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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