Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
