you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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