I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
