i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize