you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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