There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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