Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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