He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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