dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i think my cat just said my name.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
