Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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