u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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