Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
