once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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