We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
