Please, let me fuck your mom
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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