god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
