I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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