Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
