So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
