I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
