We're facebook friends in real life
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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