I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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