Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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