i think my mom watched the whole time
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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