it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
