do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
