barbara walters just said penis...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
