were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
