I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get me chipped asap
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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