I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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