i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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