I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
