Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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