I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
