my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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