I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
