And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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