We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
