Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize