you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
