He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
