D3 body, D1 cock
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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