can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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