Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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