i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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