i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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