apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
