She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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