I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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