I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
