why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
