you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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