After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
