Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
