Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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