Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
