I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
try to milk me bitch
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