Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize