I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
