Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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