I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
