I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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