Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
